Express Publishing ELT

This text and exercise can be used with higher level classes as a fun activity. After the matching task, they could try and make up their own silly author names and books or share any amusing names in their own language.

What do you call some of the most unlucky people in Britain?

Justin Case, Barb Dwyer and Stan Still. It sounds like a bad joke, but a study of online telephone records has revealed that there really are unfortunate people with those names in the UK. Joining them on the list are Terry Bull, Mary Christmas, and Anna Sasin. And just imagine having to introduce yourself to a crowd as Doug Hole, Tim Burr or Dawn Hobbs. Researchers also scoured phone records in the US and found some unlikely names there too. Spare a thought for Anna Prentice, Annette Curtain and Bill Board the next time you sign your name.

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A string of Americans also have very job-specific names, including Dr Leslie Doctor, Dr Thoulton Surgeon and Les Plack – a dentist in San Francisco. There’s a word for having a name appropriate to your job; it’s aptonym. This may lead to nominative determinism, which happens when you take up a job described by your name – so Joe Butcher becomes a butcher and Anna Baker ends up owning a bakery. There is a real dentist named Dr. Chiew, a surgeon rejoicing in the name of I. Hack and a firearms store owner – Mr. Bang. (Cardinal Sin of the Philippines unfortunately passed away a few years ago.)

Some people name their children after a hotel – Paris Hilton – the place they were conceived – Brooklyn Beckham – or a fruit – Peaches Geldorf. There are the American actresses Eva Green and Minnie Driver (sponsored by a certain auto maker?). Holly Hunter shouldn’t have far to search if she lives in Hollywood.

Some people were meant to marry. Take the lawyer Sue Wright who tied the knot with banker Rob Mee (and who should shun any temptation to name a male offspring Roger). Mr Curry is now sp(l)iced with Ms. Rice, a couple who should be good friends with John Mutton and his partner Ann Veale; Perhaps they could invite along Richard Dinner and his lovely wife Mary Cook. Madonna’s current toy boy is named Jesus – would that be a marriage made in heaven?

Try and match the following people with the books they wrote:

Answers:1 z, 2 f, 3 l, 4 h , 5 a, 6 m, 7 q, 8 p, 9 s, 10 j, 11 w, 12 c, 13 e, 14 b, 15 v, 16 y, 17 d, 18 x, 19 n , 20 i, 21 g, 22 k, 23 r, 24 t, 25 u, 26 o

More unfortunate names: Jo King, Barrie Cade, Carrie Oakey, Ivy Plant, Hazel Nutt and Rose Bush

We have converted the exercise above into a pdf in-class exercise ready for you to use with your students which you will find HERE!